


Alone and Lost in a Lil’ Blue Spot, Part 1

by theintoxicatingbowl



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 23:11:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9851063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theintoxicatingbowl/pseuds/theintoxicatingbowl
Summary: It's Valentine's Day on earth and Lance is extremely bored in outer space. Everyone seems to be willing to join the celebrations but there is some confusion. In the end Slav deduces Lance likes Keith and sets them in the other side of a wormhole. End of part 1.





	

Enter Lance (in a fake French accent):Ah, deep space. Bits of something interrupted by nothingness all the way. How long have we been in this course? No one knows. Could it be two minutes, two weeks, how long would that be on earth?  
‘It must be the first fortnight of Finbrarah on your Earth,’ says Slav. ‘Oh, I'm sorry, February 14, this translation is faulty. In fact February 14.5 if this model of your galaxy is correct.’  
‘Valentine’s? Ahhh. It’s Valentine’s on earth.’  
‘It’s says here that your celebrations involve a series of allusions to mating rituals, and consumerism, but it varies by region.’  
‘It involves chocolate, too.’  
Slav leads two hands to his mouth, and every other remaining limb imitates this in a coy, comical manner. ‘Oh, I love chocolate. Let’s celebrate. Never mind that in a good percentage of a spectrum of possible realities it gives me an allergic reaction…’  
Princess Allura enters the lookout cockpit of the ship. Lance turns around following the slushing sound of the doors.  
‘Oh, but lookee here. We were just talking about you.’  
‘…that inevitably kills me.’  
‘Lance, where is Keith?’  
Lance frown lowers. ‘Who cares about Keith, Princess, I was wondering if you would like to be a part of our earthly celebrations.’  
‘It’s a pre-mating ritual of some sort, with chocolate,’ interrupts Slav.  
‘No, no, Princess, it’s not like that. It’s more of people being romantic; and giving away flowers, and stuff, to each other. And going on…’  
‘I like flowers, I’m not going to lie. If it is an important thing for you we may join in celebration. It must be difficult for you earthlings being so far away from home.’  
‘Oh, yes. Right, you see, people show their affection in many ways on earth. For example…’  
‘I’m going to find Coran and make sure he looks over the preparations. We shall see that the computer find some equivalences with what we have. Now, Pidge and Hunk are on that trip in the moon of…’  
She goes out the room, and the doors closed again with the same faint slushing sound.  
‘Computer, there are some things that are still unsure to me. Show me a little more about the earth,’ says Slav, at the controls.  
Lance follows Allura with his hands in his pockets, with a defeated but thoughtful posture.  
He goes like this from one passage to the next, talking under his breath.  
‘I’m a handsome fellow, ain’t I. When the girls see me they just find me irresistible? I’m not a big, strong heroic archetype, or something, but I have a slender built, and I’m kind of good to look at, am I not? And I have a good personality.’ Lance finds a material that shows him his reflection. And he flexes to it. ‘I’m humble. I’m a sharpshooter. I have the best sense of humor on this ship.’ He likes what he sees. Then stars to unbutton his shirt. ‘What am I talking about? I’m a lean, mean, killing machine. I have destroyed so many of the enemy. I’m a beast.’ He takes his shirt off and puts in on his head, then, to make the point, roars. ‘Grrrrh.’ Making faces and strange contortions, and a monkey-like posture with his fists clenched.  
‘What are you doin’?’  
Lance leaves out a high pitch scream.  
‘Ahhh. What do you care?’  
‘It concerns me.’  
Lance puts his shirt back on and stares at Keith. He looks nervous.  
‘What are you up to?’  
‘Nothing.’ And he goes the other way. Looking to both sides as if trying to avoid someone.  
Lance is interrupted in his examination by Coran.  
‘Lance, it’s you I was looking for.’  
‘Wasn’t it Keith?, he looks a little rush.’  
‘Oh, no. I wanted to talk to you about this Va-lentin Day.’  
‘Valentine’s.’  
‘Yes, you see, we could make just a big virtual projection of things, but Princess Allura said she didn’t want anything like that, the poor thing. So I’m making measurements for the dress, and also we have some non-toxic flowers in the kitchen…’  
‘Yes, yes, yes. It’s all right.’  
‘Would it be okay pink, for your dress?’  
‘I s’pose… I’m not wearing a dress.’  
‘Young Paladin, I’m pretty sure the computer indicates that, in the etiquette of Valentine’s, you have to wear a dress.’  
‘Coran, there’s no etiquette for that. Don’t know what century you’re following, also, I’m a man. I don’t wear dresses.’  
‘Oh, nonsense. The computer is rarely wrong.  
‘I tell you. It must be a bug or something.’  
‘All corruptions of the system were corrected. Besides, we had a very similar custom in our planet, you see…’  
‘Coran…’  
‘I have good memories of it. And I just thought it would be a good thing if we could distract ourselves from all this for a day, and…’ Coran measures Lance’s lengths swiftly with a violet tape.  
‘Co…’  
‘Don’t be shy, boy. You would feel at ease in your planetary attire when I’m done with it.’ And before Lance can complain once more, he goes from where he had come.  
‘He’s got it all wrong.’ Lance puts his hands on his pockets and thinks to himself. ‘I’m going to spend the rest of the day hiding in my room, if someone needs me.’ And again, he walks the halls, aimlessly.  
Lance is playing with a ball against the wall in his room. The door is open so he can feel not completely isolated. He even has a book by his side, about pirates, illustrated. The green, mushy ball hits the wall and then bounces to the floor and back to him. Thud, thud. Thud, thud. His face is the epitome of absolute boredom.  
He sees Keith go past the threshold, crawling, then sliding, at full speed. He looks at the door, attentively. A little bit later, he sees Allura past it, too. This breaks his repose.  
‘What is he up to?’  
He steps outside the room, slyly. He walks carefully at first, but then he is almost running following their direction. He turns around and sees Keith, and he then sees Allura, but distracts her, throwing the ball behind her. With Allura out of the way, he runs before Keith, turning right in a long passage, but then, he hears Coran. He turns on his heels and sees a small storage room. He opens the door and plunges inside it. Coran’s whistling and then his silhouette passes the slits on the low door. There’s almost no space. Coran walks the length of the hall quickly.  
‘Uf, it was close.’  
‘Yes.’  
Lance mutes a scream. Then he whispers:  
‘Who are you?’  
‘I’m hiding, too.’  
‘Keith?’  
‘This is awkward.’  
‘I’m getting out of here.’  
Keith grasps his hand and pulls him back.  
‘No, wait. Someone is coming.’  
‘Wha…?’  
Princess Allura comes down the hall, working in the most strange arrangement they have seen. A bundle of tentacles and blooms. A dripping of shapes. Entertained in fixing this, she disappears from their sight.  
‘What are you doing here?,’ asks Lance.  
‘I messed up the training program. And Allura wants me to help her fixed it.’  
‘You think I’m dumb? It’s not like you to hide. Tell me the truth.’  
‘Well…Princess Allura wants a sample of my flesh. I don’t want to refuse, but I won’t accept right now, either. She wants to compare my built and that of the other Galra samples in the…’  
‘I knew she wanted a piece of you. Ah, ah, get it?’  
‘Why are you here?’  
‘Coran. He has good intentions, don’t get me wrong, but he misinterpreted Valentine’s celebrations into something different. He made me a… I guess we are here because we don’t want to say no.’  
‘I guess.’  
‘Ah, what now?’  
‘It’s Valentine’s on earth? How do you know?’  
‘Slav was playing with an orb and he made up it was today. And then Allura came. She didn’t even let me propose… Well, it must be a cultural thing. I bet it would be different on earth. Anyway, you both’ll end up together. It would be ironic, the alien hater (she’s not even human), and the alien, in love.’  
‘What makes you think I like her? I mean…’  
‘Oh, c’mon, she’s very pretty. Only chick our age, very old, technically, but young still. Smart, surrounded by an almost magical power.’  
‘I don’t like her.’  
‘Well, you hated each other. I understand. I swear she liked you. But without you in the way, it could work.’  
‘Leave her alone, Lance. I don’t want you to…’  
‘Aha, so you do like her.’  
‘I don’t like her.’  
If Lance had some light, beside the faint glow from the slits, he could see how red in the face Keith had turned.  
‘Never mind. I don’t hear anything. Let’s get out of here.’  
They up and run the distance to Lance’s room. Keeping their profiles low. Two stylized figures, pressed against the corners. All clear, and then, they close the door. A soft sound makes them hide, one under the bed, and one disguised as a pile of blankets and dirty clothes. False alarm.  
‘I mean. This is silly. Why don’t we just take the plunge. You give her her Valentine’s gift of flesh, and I dress up like a hula girl. I’m tired of living in hiding.’  
‘Have you seen the machine with which she extracts it? Man, is huge.’  
‘Won’t you regenerate or something?’  
‘Are you still trying to see if I’m some kind of ugly, monstrous, blood-thirsty purple alien, or something? That’s not how this works.’  
‘You are not ugly, I mean, I’m not saying you are pretty, well, you are very handsome, and stoic and all that. I guess, what I’m trying to say is… Did you just smile?’  
‘No, I’m just taking courage. Okay. Let’s see Allura and Coran.’  
‘Yes, wait.’  
Outside the cockpit doors.  
‘Lance, you are okay. Not ugly, I mean. Even if Allura, doesn’t feel that way.’  
‘Ooh, the electricity between us. I know that, pancake, don’t pity me.’  
The doors open, Slav, Princess Allura, Coran, Shiro, all finishing a video-call with Pidge wearing a flower crown.  
‘We’ll be there tomorrow. I think you may be off your approximation of dates. It could be the day you think it was on earth happened two days ago. See ya.’  
‘We’ll celebrate nonetheless, to rise the spirits of the tribulation,’ says Princess Allura.  
‘Lance, Keith, we’ve been looking for you. Coran checked with Slav and it appears your robes may be a bit off, so we found a reddish suit. Everything is fixed now. And Keith, it appears you misheard me when you overheard my musings, I just need a bit of blood. The mice informed me of your misunderstanding.’  
‘Well, that fixes everything. Now, were’s the chocolate.’  
‘I have divided the rations in practically identical portions. I have also become familiarized with earthling romanticism. I think also out of mere curiosity I took a dip in the current argot that is spoken on it. In English, obviously, which is a language that inexplicable coincides with the space common tongue. Hum, hum, so, who’s your bae?’  
‘Slav, what are you talking about?’ Says Coran, puzzled.  
‘I’m just too much, I believe.’  
‘Are you hearing this?, says Lance, looking at Keith.  
‘I only want one think for Valentine, Shiro, will you let me give a closer look at your arm?’  
‘If you don’t mind Princess, I would also like a more in-depth analysis of how it has assimilated to my body.’  
‘Lance, try this, if you please.’ Coran opens a box, and gives it to Lance.  
‘It doesn’t look that bad. What a nice suit. I look like a sexy gangster.’  
‘I don’t think so, bro. Because there’s a great disparity between the two styles.’  
‘Slav, please don’t.’  
‘Oh, Lance, you be tripping.’  
‘Princess, I want to give you a sample, if it would help understand Shiro’s condition. I want to know if my blood is, you know…’  
‘I understand you are curious, Keith. I shall be pleased if you would help me with that. I’m curious about if it is transfusable. Let’s go. Coran.’  
‘I can give you some blood, too. You’ll never get better blood in the galaxy.’  
‘That would be nice, too, Lance, but that won’t be necessary today. You can stay here and join the celebrations.’  
‘Wait, if all of you go. It’ll be only me and Slav, and Coran.’  
‘Oh, I’m busy with reparations now. I’ll get only a little more of this chocolate.’  
‘I want me some chocolate, too.’  
‘Okay, okay, Slav, I get it. Go, then. We will have the best time together.’  
‘You can come, Lance, if you want.’ Says Keith.  
Mockingly: ‘I don’t want to be a bothah.’  
‘Let’s go.’ Says, Allura. Keith turns and asks.  
‘Shiro, is that more like magic or Galra engineering or a mixed of both…?’  
The doors close.  
‘Oh, today has been such a mess. I just want to have some monster to fight, or whatever, to get out of this. I’m the sharpshooter, too, they should treat me with a little bit more…’  
Slav comes with squinting eyes and two of his hands on his cheeks, and a smile.  
‘You jelly?’  
‘No, is not that.’  
‘I think it has more to do with “the heart,” I’m I right? Well, although technically there is a correlation in the function of the heart as a pump that reflects the rate of itself, and it can be affected by emotions, they can be localized inside the brain, I think. But who I’m I to judge.’  
‘What are you talking about?’  
‘You are in love.’  
‘She is hot, but I’m definitely not in love.’  
‘I’m not talking about her. I’m taking about the Red Paladin. You like him.’  
‘You are talking out…’  
‘There’s a clear difference between which end of my digesting track I’m talking from. You like him. You have all the signs of your species. Your heart rate goes up, your attention, your body language… When he talks to you, or when you look at him, have you noticed how your pupils widen? I’m very much not mistaking. You like the Red Paladin, you would like to kiss him, and make out with him, and maybe be involved in more specific mating rituals.’  
‘It fascinates me how you can talk about me as if I were a predictable beast. It’s not like that, I mean.’  
‘And I’m pretty sure there’s a 67.5% of chance that he likes you back. It’s the perfect love triangle. It works. You see, you, in earthly terms, you swing both ways, and Allura likes Keith, and you like Allura. You see, so geometrical.’ Slav draws a triangle in the air. The ship projects the holographic shape, Slavs turns the controls, and a little comical bust appears in every angle. Lance on the top. ‘This way it is all unrequited love. A common theme. But I love to solve problems. Let’s slip Shiro here, beside Allura, once we dissolve this. The perfect love triangle, it works. But then you turn to whomever is chasing you. Aha, a couple of tweaks, and we have two happy couples.’  
‘It’s not that easy. I mean—whispering—I like him. But I’m not sure he likes me.’  
‘Nonsense. The odds are certainly in your favor. Nonetheless, if he were not, he would be a sterile cathetus, because the only other one he could like is Shiro. Keith is not into girls.’  
‘How do you know?’  
‘The mice told me. They won’t tell Allura, though.’  
‘If it sounds insane, it must be true.’  
‘You and Hunk pick their noses, and you also…’  
‘Let me stop you there. Slav, what are you taking from this?’  
‘I must be undertaking you as a little project to distract me from being completely idle, my little guinea pig.’  
‘You can have my share of chocolate for all the other info.’  
‘Oh, thank you very much. Then I can tell you that you don’t have to impress Keith because he is in every way more impressive than you. I believe you would be very well off if you just insinuate the thing rather directly. It is a component of Keith personality that he won’t make big gestures, but he would undoubtedly fall for something romantic.’  
‘Listen, knowing this doesn’t mean I’m going to act on it.’  
‘I just think that it would be more productive if you follow your—heart, and do what is best for you. It also happens that the best for you coincides with a course of action that would be most beneficial for the entire crew emotional well being.’  
‘Okay, but don’t say anything to the others. I’d like some privacy.’  
‘I won’t spill the tea. I’m a tomb.’  
Lance is in high spirits. What was with Slav trying to notice so many things? Oh, I don’t know, he had a crush on Keith, yes, but he had a condominium heart, he never had seen a sign that Keith… Had he been so obvious? He was a coquette, that was true, but with everyone but him. It was weird. If they were to get together, it would be a true hero… with him, the best available guy in this side of the galaxy. Haha. Was that what he liked, the heroism, selflessness, the cool-ness? Yes.  
Imaginary music and lights. Mist oozes from the corners of the halls. He mouths the lyrics of Bonnie Tyler’s, Holding Out For a Hero at first, then he sings the chorus.  
‘…I need a hero. I’m holding out for a hero till the end of the night. He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast, and he’s gotta be fresh from the fight.’ He may as well be singing it in real life, but it’s an imaginary playback. ‘I need a hero. I’m holding out for a hero till the morning light. He’s gotta be sure, and it’s gotta be soon, and he’s gotta be larger than life…’  
‘I need a hero…’  
‘Lance, you make me want to rip my ears off.’  
‘Quiznak off, Keith. Don’t sneak like that on people.’  
‘I’m not sneaking on you, you are screaming.’  
‘Is it still Valentine’s? I mean, it could be a week off for all we know.’  
‘No one cares.’  
Lance turns around, gets and only stops on the other side of his bedroom’s door. He distracts himself reading a comic and taking a long shower and everything else. He puts carefully his suit on the other empty bed. Funny how they resembled beds from earth. Okay, okay, he was going to think it over a little. And concentrated in that with his eyes closed, he falls asleep.  
It’s the early morning of the next day. Although they are not near any star for it to be properly day or night. An alarm blasts all of the sudden. He is woken up by it rather abruptly. He forgets to turn the light first and trips over so much staff while grabbing everything and getting to the door.  
‘What’s going on?’  
Coran’s voice elevates in the whole castle.  
‘We appear to be under attack.’  
‘There’s nothing outside! Is it Galra?’  
‘Lance, it’s only a simulation. If we were under attack we would hear the alarm, and see the shields, and feel the ship trembling.’  
‘So, it’s nothing?’  
‘Let’s get to our lions anyway.’  
They ran all their way to their lions in their paladin attire. There’s still no Pidge or Hunk, and Shiro is outside, suspended as if waiting for something.  
‘So, is it a drill? Are we fighting something invisible?’  
‘I don’t know.’  
‘Listen, buddy, you are the only one receiving my communications.’  
‘Slav?’  
‘There is no threat. I have arrange everything for you. There’s a backpack in your cabin.’  
‘Slav, if I needed a favor…’  
‘Princess Allura will open a portal to Pidge’s location. Your’s and Keith's lions will be immobilized and won’t be able to follow. I changed the course during the night. I found a little, blue, uncharted planetoid. You will find this dwarf appealing.’  
‘What? Slav, I appreciate all this, but this is no way of falling for someone. This is falling with someone. This is a forced bonding moment. Please, listen to me…’  
‘Your following communications will be interrupted. See you in two days.’  
‘SLAV!! You dirty potato-centipede!’  
Deep space. The castle hangs in the polka dot fabric of creation, a star dust collage. There is a colorful solar system to the side. The Black Lion twists and turns in the proximity, having realized it was a drill. It happily advances toward the castle. The wormhole opens, The Black Lion sees this and tries to catch up with the ship before it departs. Only in the very last second it notices the others aren’t following. It turns around, a black lion suspended just on the inside of the hole. Before it can get out, the wormhole closes.  
‘Lance, what’s going on? I can’t move this thing.’  
‘Remember when I told I wanted to stick you in a wormhole. I don’t. I hate wormholes now.’  
‘I think my lion is accelerating, dragged by this planet gravitational force. It’s this the work of an enemy? Can you get your lion to anything.’  
‘It isn’t exactly the work of an enemy. A kinda friend’s mistake.’  
‘What are you talking about?’  
The danger signals, red lights and alarm sounds flood both cockpits. A tiny message is set on a little display in Lance’s backpack, then disappears. ‘You are to say this is training.’  
‘Slav wanted to test if… if I could survive… if we could survive in a planet for two days.’  
‘Why would he do that? He is not exactly dumb.’  
‘I think he misunderstood me. Maybe…’  
‘He should know we can survive something not threatening. Maybe this is a dangerous planet.’  
‘I don’t know. I have no idea. Keith, I genuinely have not a clue.’  
They precipitate towards the little blue planet. In close inspection it looks more greenish. As if the whole thing were a swamp.  
‘Keith, I don’t like the look of this.’  
‘Brace for the impact.’


End file.
